Lyrics
Pick up to six lines to make a card.
Britney Spears:
It’s so hot in here
spoken:
“For my last story, I just wanted to say sorry you’re just wrapping your head around how profound it is for the reality you were born into to be ‘Satanically possessed.’ It’s a lot, I can imagine.”
Britney Spears:
It’s not complicated
We’re just syncopated
We can read each other’s minds
spoken:
“I honestly wonder how this is all hitting you.”
Britney Spears:
One love united
Two bodies synchronizin’
spoken:
“If you’ve been reading me since 2022, maybe you just need to sit with this even longer. You never know when life’s highest stakes possible will call. My next song will be about ghost job listings on LinkedIn. I know there are bigger problems on Earth.”
Britney Spears:
Oh—this is way beyond the physical
(Way beyond the physical)
And tonight—my senses
Don’t make sense at all
spoken:
“But not in my fucking life.”
It’s all about “who-you-know”
It’s a grift (it’s a joke)
“Just be best; just be good”
She got hers
How she could
Unseen labor
Is gettin’ lax as your sister stays disciplined
Is takin’ shortcuts as your spouse takin’ insulin
Unseen shortcuts
Are the story of our world
Is the story of being a child
Is the story of bein’ a girl
(Fire those) Uncreative, illiterate, luck-hoardin’ fucks
Fire ’em en masse like nobody ever has before
Tradin’ places with the hungry
The shell-shocked and war-torn
It’s all about “who-you-know”
It’s a grift (it’s a joke)
“Just be best, just be good”
He got his
How he could
Other children cried
(Yours can cry too, Jim)
Other children died
(Yours can try too, Mitch)
To survive inside what
Malnourishment’s
Actually
Like
spoken:
“I can respect anyone who admits they’re evil.”
spoken:
“Anyone can.”
spoken:
“Which is why End Times is ‘next-level.’”
No fashion editor on Earth
Has ever given a fuck if you live or die
These are not reasonable robots
You can even appeal to with your lives
“They’re too good to be ‘human’!”
“They’re too good to be ‘animal’!”
To sustain their high-status
They extract emotional labor
Other children cried
(Yours can cry too, Mitch)
Other children died
(Yours can try too, Jim)
To survive inside what
Malnourishment’s
Actually
Like
spoken:
“In a video game, you’d turn good eggs homicidal.”
spoken:
“Honestly—so much of my life seems to revolve around me making higher-status people agree that they’re actually higher-status than me. That’s a lot of emotional labor I do ‘for free,’ which was never part of the contract you and I signed at birth; and pointlessly. Middle school’s where high status learned emotional slavery. They’ll damage you just by existing. Wake up. Their existence—is—a cosmic
It’s all about “who-you-know”
It’s a grift (it’s a joke)
“Just be best; just be good”
She got hers
How she could
spoken:
“These are human beings who find it more comfortable to dehumanize you, than to take anything they believe seriously! That is the fundamental core of their existence—and the rest is just them, humanizing them-selves—to us!”
You’re no longer a recognizable species
(No longer in fashionable season)
You’re no longer a recognizable human
(No longer any gleanable reasons)
spoken:
“Look, I’m just opening with that proposition. If it’s not true?”
It’s all about “who-you-know”
It’s a grift (it’s a joke)
“Just be best; just be good”
She got hers
How she could
spoken:
“We all win.”
Unseen labor
Is the story of our lives
Is the story of being a child
Is the story of bein’ alive
Britney Spears:
Just put your lips together
And blow
CluedIn (n.):
the new Bluesky where all the existential “photo finishes” will congregate after Colson Lin revamps LinkedIn according to his wildest dreams.
spoken:
“Every profile will get a little ‘Fake Bitch With Illnesses’ badge—BY THE way, if I ever DO lottery it rich? I hope nobody thinks I’m being paid to help them unless we specifically entered into a verbal contract. There’s no conceptual ‘blood money’ if all money’s tainted by illogic—I self-identify as being paid ‘just to live.’ Me as you pay me: ‘I literally don’t even remember where this came from
spoken:
“I’m like giggling too, but I’m so mad just in case what I’m saying is 100% ontologically true.”
spoken:
“I’m giggling mad.”
money (n.):
“Bonus points from reality to control more of reality socially through control of other lives; their minds, colonized by me? Ha. If I’m on a mission, I got Britney’s permission.”
spoken:
“I can just pay you to make me lab equipment if I want. Literally to study whales; but more to study how humans squirm.”
messianic grift (n.):
“Oh yeah, I’ve had a ‘I’m the return of Jesus’ grift going since 2022. Here’s the grift, genius: I am going to be a billionaire. I’ll throw money at your kid’s cancer treatment just to write a book about you watching death in Hell.”
spoken:
“I intend to control such a historically insane amount of money, all of humanity’s relationship to money becomes a forever-joke.
No.
Holds.
Barred.”
spoken:
“If your grandparents, at your age, would be excited that Colson Lin exists; ‘but you’re not’… isn’t that sad for them?”
spoken:
“You’re not the only one who wishes they were around.”
spoken:
“Meanwhile, you love being around.”
spoken:
“None of your ancestors were born ready to fuck with the Second Coming of Christ. ‘Your postmodern Frankenstein mind can do anything, though.’ Listen, buddy; I’m sure you’ve had all sorts of thoughts since the moment you were born. ‘Every thought I’ve ever had is equal.’ Your latest golden nugget.”
spoken:
“Anyway, you can tell I’m a little angry; I just finished ‘LinkedIn Blues, Pt. 2,’ the last song on Sex, Depth, & Money. First of all, it’s not very good. But second of all.”
spoken:
“(Just the fact I had to write a part two.)”
It’s all about “who-you-know”
It’s a grift (it’s a joke)
“Just be best; just be good”
He got hers
How he could
spoken:
“I took the meritocracy seriously enough to get all A’s, a perfect SAT score, Phi Beta Kappa, Yale Law, and a book deal by the age of thirty. I HATE YOU MORE THAN YOU EVER THOUGHT YOU COULD BE HATED.”
Britney Spears:
Get naked
Get naked
Get naked
Get naked
Unseen labor
Is the story of our lives
Is the story of being a child
Is the story of bein’ alive
Britney Spears:
If you like what you see
End your curiosity
Let your mind roam free
Won’t ya pay attention, please?
spoken:
“Anyway, it’s good I found something to do in between bouts of not killing myself.”
spoken:
“And scavenging for food.”
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