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Intro: Julius Caesar, Lucius Minucius Basilus
Et tu, Brutus?
Or should I call you Judas?
I must admit I'm quite upset
I conquered Gaul without a sweat
I got this country out of debt
And this is now the thanks I get?
Well, I'll tell you bums, I ain't down yet!
Boy, that's a lot of rhymes!
You bet!
Interlude: Announcer
Ladies and gentlemen, Marc Antony!
Marc Antony
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend your ears to me
Beneath this arch on the Ides of March in 44 B.C.,
A famous Roman geezer, by the name of Julius Caesar
Was ascended on by friends that killed him dead!
He was betrayed by all his buddies, so he said...
Yeah!
Julius Caesar
I can't beliеve you stabbed me in thе back;
That was a vicious, mean, and unprovoked attack!
It's unfair and unjust, this was never discussed;
You're the ones that I trust, and I'm feeling disgust
'Cause I'm biting the dust, and that's why I must
Say I'm really nonplussed...
Why all you guys would stab me in the back;
You know you might as well have put me on the rack
'Cause this is torture, how I hurt
To realize you dish the dirt
You even ruined my favorite shirt
Alas, alack!
I'm feelin' bad because you stabbed me in the back!
I thought that we were pals through thick and thin
And now the guys who were my friends just did me in...
If I'd known that you were traitors
You'd been killed by gladiators
And then fed to alligators as a snack
For stabbing Julius Caesar in the back!
Chorus, Julius Caesar, Conspirators
We ran him through with knives from fore to aft
And to tell the truth, I think I feel a draft
I was healthy, I did yoga
I drank only Calistoga
Took size thirty in a toga;
Now just look at me, I'm history!
And that's because we stabbed him in the back!
I didn't deserve it!
Now we'll finally get this country back on track!
There's been libel, there's been slander
Now you all just take a gander
At these knives that didn't cut me any slack!
I'm the guy whose friends betrayed him
And waylaid him when they stabbed him in the back!
In the Rotunda!
We nabbed him and we grabbed him and we jabbed him and we stabbed him...
I feel betrayed!
...in the ba-a-a-a-ack!
Outro: Julius Caesar, Chorus
Folks, someone call IX-I-I!
Nine-one-one!
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