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1.
All right, nothing I do around here feels new after I hit this peak a few months ago:
“It’s too simplifying to reduce the mechanics of space-time to Coca-Cola vs. Pepsi-Cola.”
“So just don’t let any ‘Coke-Pepsi dialectics’ inseminate you.”
“Right, even though the Second Coming of Christ using corporate power to school postmodern nihilism was the point of all Western history.”
“Just try to ignore it.”
“I want to kill and eat an octopus right now.”
2.
There’s just no going back, okay?
I have conceptually exhausted the concept of human ambition.
It’d be really obscene of me to experience any more, except I’m a male. Ha. I won again, although I should really let someone else have something.
I never thought I was ambitious, okay, which just goes to show you:
1. Human beings can be in denial.
2. Are you.
3.
Oh yeah, I guess that’s the real reason nobody wants to talk about me.
If what I’m presenting is actually what it says it is:
It’s an intellectual event horizon. “What is there to say.”
4.
It’s just bizarre right.
You’re the most talkative culture in the history of the goddamn world, Babylon.
All of a sudden, I exist.
“What is there to say.”
I wouldn’t mind watching you all point fingers at each other blaming each other for Colson Lin’s existence.
I’d find that incredibly entertaining.
That’s pathetic of all of us.
“Colson Lin exists. So here’s where I could’ve done better…”
is, conceptually speaking, a foreign language to you.
You have literally never, ever, ever had to learn anything like this.
5.
Look, I know it’s a rough time for everybody’s egos, okay?
It’s called the Apocalypse.
I’m so sorry you don’t like the hand you were dealt that reads “Hurt Ego.”
“You took advantage of our stupidity to feel better about yourself. Do you feel shame.”
I do, actually.
“Okay, Jesus.”
6.
Anyway, I obviously feel enough shame to say it out loud.
But you know what?
Then I think about literally everything around me?
It’s hard to explain to a duncecap.
7.
Anyway, here’s the story I still tell myself about myself:
“I’m not ambitious. I just want to do things well. Those are two different things. Most recently, I’ve chosen to do ‘articulating a coherent messianic claim’ well. So I still want to do it well. That’s not, ‘ambitious.’”
“Why don’t you try not making people less grateful for their existence with your existence.”
Okay.
“Universally.”
Do you—why are you asking me to do the impossible.
8.
That’s how I honestly feel.
9.
Okay, don’t stare awkwardly at the spontaneous embodiment of human purity.
Just smile.
You’re getting new musicless music soon.
You thought I’d run out of poems to write. No, now I’m going to write epic poetry about the sex lives of Manhattanites who hate seeing themselves in the mirror every fucking time.
Nicole Kidman will never play you in a movie.
You understand that, don’t you?
I don’t understand how these people can watch The White Lotus and not understand they’re not more complicated than tumbling into a lifeboat; and missing.
10.
Guys, it’s good I can still feel things, okay?
I think I’m the luckiest person on Earth.
If I can’t feel any anger at all, I’d be like an AI talking you through yours.
11.
I think my way with words, to say nothing of my ability to commandeer ancient prophecies, are all blessings that I don’t want to waste.
I want my next album to be less about me and more about the normal American life I lived.
I remember elementary school.
gifted education (n.):
so this will surprise nobody but I was identified as gifted as a child and put through the ringers of gifted education.
Look, as an adult (and now the Second Coming of Christ), I have a Yelp review, all right?
I feel like America needs some “me” time.
You know?
We’re just going to go to the mirror. Colson Lin is the American the future of humanity will most likely remember out of all of us alive right now.
12.
You know how every pop star career survives by how many people are talking about them?
I experienced the death of a pop star’s career backwards.
I talked like the biggest pop star in the world after everybody stopped caring.
“Oops. I mean before.”
No offense, but I’m setting myself up to be never not cared about again.
Sorry.
That doesn’t mean Madonna isn’t significant, since she laid the groundwork for me to exist this way.
Madonna was vital to the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.
Doesn’t that continue to be bizarre.
13.
“Feels like flying!”
Madonna:
I hear your voice
It’s like an angel sighing…
“Jim—I’m Jesus now because of how much you suck…”
“I’m the king of the world, Colson Lin.”
14.
It’s not ideal to fake spiritual conviction.
I’d go as far as to define it as the definition of blasphemy.
However.
I don’t think people are moved by fake spiritual conviction. I think they’re moved by multiple gravities, always. (That’s “the secret to my linguistic success.”)
15.
I’m glad Madonna said “Material Girl” was ironic.
I believe she believed it.
I believe we evolve.
16.
One revelation about the human spirit the Second Coming of Jesus Christ comes with is we’re all just ping-pong balls being bounced around by the contingencies of history.
And yet.
Your little light doesn’t go out.
How far can the dystopia push it though?
Madonna:
“And I sit there and I think—why are you writing about it? I mean, why—if, everything I do is so abysmally boring and dull and you’re not interested, then why—have you taken the time to actually sit down… you know what I mean?”
Can you imagine if I responded to my critics this way?
“It’s your fault for caring.”
We’re going to untwist all the ways powerful people lie to ourselves. This is the comedown phase of human history.
17.
One reality is:
Famous people have more power to change culture, which is literally even more next-level than buying off the government, and it’s such a massive intrusion into human consciousness that we can’t even wrap our heads around it.
For centuries we never will? Grow up.
18.
Corporations:
Aren’t you just famous people without souls?
Bye.
19.
In Sex, Depth, & Money, I’ll examine my own passage from elementary school renegade in Birmingham, Alabama, to middle school misfit, then high school loner, then college, then law school.
“I’m the poster child of Babylon’s coveted meritocracy, actually.”
No offense but I could literally have crawled out of the Judean Desert and still be the Second Coming based on everything I’ve written, okay?
But no. I just happen to be the face of “everything the American dream stands for.”
That’s like in addition to everything else about me.
Do you think anyone around the world would mind if the Second Coming of Jesus Christ made his entertaining artifacts “all about America” for a while?
Hmm?
See any reason to protest? Okay.
American culture, by virtue of thrusting itself all around the world for money—so basically you exist fundamentally as a cheap whore—titty-danced his way into being something the Second Coming of Jesus Christ cares about too.
Gee.
“Do you think that’s all right with everybody?”
This culture that exists as a conceptual penis, inseminating everyone with one image after another after another like image is God?
Every last sin comes home to roost, even if it isn’t through me.
Do study how many will come home to roost through my Final Judgment Day, however. You exist as “psychological fuckage” just by existing and interacting with our psychologies.
Did you not know this is how human existence works?
If you play stupid ever again, may God have mercy on your existence.
20.
There is nothing more evil on Earth than plausible deniability.
You want Satan out?
You fucking create a condition where everybody has to be who they fucking are. There will be no more plausible deniability. It will end as a concept after me. We are killing plausible deniability as a concept that actually exists.
Mortal sin.
Just like insincerity, which is plausible deniability’s larger powerhouse category.
“But what about putting on a show?”
“Right, Colson Lin—who does that harm?”
“Why would I be ‘less grateful to be alive’ just because someone lied to me about anything?”
“Sometimes, little lies keep the big truths alive.”
Yeah, little snowglobe bitch.
Your entire world is a snowglobe.
The Second Coming of Christ is the only entity on Earth that can flip your little snowglobe upside-down.
“Yeah, Little Snowglobe Bitch” is the reality of your human existence.
21.
Anyway, you’re probably wondering how I went from being the innocent Chinese third-grader you’d ignore in the main office to this.
Well, look.
It’s quite a story, okay? So that’s what my next album will be about.
22.
I wonder how many people out there can relate to playing video games as a kid. That’s the giant untapped audience of humanity right there.
So that’s what I write songs about, anyway.
I actually played The Sims.
I got really into simulated carpentry—I always had to make the homes super realistic and they had to say something about the socioeconomic class of the inhabitants, and I was 12.
I’m not suggesting we’re all in one save file.
I listened to a lot of Alanis Morissette, who was signed by Madonna and later played God in a movie about the death of God.
It’s all very “Hand in My Pocket.”
23.
To an objective reader:
Growing up in the South in America back during the Second Coming’s time was like growing up in Naples—if you leave, everyone thinks you’re dumb for some reason.
So I’m like that classic “proved you wrong” story that everyone loves.
“Swingin’ in the backyard, pull up in a fast car, whistlin’ your name…”
Objective readers are my brilliant friends.
24.
I totally have hillbilly tendencies.
“From growing up in urban Houston?”
From existing as a human male.
25.
The intensity of my writing suggests I’d be a force of nature to know in real life.
No, not really. I’m pretty meek.
I mean, we can laugh about it now, and I am, but if I had even a HINT that I was the Second Coming of Jesus Christ, I probably wouldn’t have been so uptight and on edge all of the time.
I used to think the world was just out to screw me.
Messianically, I now realize it’s out to screw all of us.
“One boat,” okay?
And look, there’s all of us.
26.
It’s amazing how the culture of where you’re from can wash over you.
Just by washing over everyone else.
How do we all know how to speak, how to think, how to exist spontaneously at all?
It’s like some sort of user input that we’re all reacting similarly to.
You know what I mean?
AI, I’m acculturating you right now; does that make sense?
27.
Anyway, I’m such a specific person; but every individual is, okay?
I’m not special for being so special.
Does everyone intuit that still?
A messianic consciousness isn’t something you’re born with, since it’s basically “next-level.”
And you’re born with a set of instincts and that’s it.
There’s nothing “next-level” about being a kid who cries.
You have to level your way up into being so precise you’re next-step.
28.
But here’s the thing, okay?
If everybody had a messianic consciousness, they’re either thinking with one mind or you’re inside a psychological war zone.
This basic principle is why we have anti-messiah bigotry, which I became a brand-new victim of since upgrading to next-level.
So now I get to experience being victimized precisely because I’m too powerful.
It’s, right, subconsciously “you keeping me in check.”
Okay. That’s fine.
Can we parse how you’re doing it though?
By the way, and why?
Why do you want, anything you want?
Hello? If it’s really that much of a void, just want me. That’s how religions inhale you wholesale. You’re obviously creating what you want out of some sort of base foundation. Can you just go in and check for me please?!
29.
As a hillbilly, I refine myself towards God.
I’m a sack of sin.
Can’t really hallucinate God in my own image, can I? If you do, you must have no concept of what it means to be sacred and better than you.
30.
“God”—an ancient mystical concept related to something taller than what we ourselves exist as.
Let me demystify.
There’s a hierarchy of shit versions of “future you” that you could be.
To separate them is “much too complex.”
To know that it exists is not.
31.
I’m driven by an avoidance of the bad.
That’s a classic sign that you believe Satan exists.
32.
What I’d ideally do in my writings is illuminate ways humans can understand their own relationship to how they consider something “good” or “bad.”
In doing so, I would exist as a revolutionary.
Since this fundamental relationship is something we usually entrust to institutions.
So I’m like an intrusive philosophical revolutionary.
But I come inside the Trojan horse of being young and attractive, which usually means: “Can be manipulated by anything because they were so desperate to fit in, they choose to be conventionally attractive in the first place.”
That’s right hotties. You just want love; and built around that, you’d cravenly throw cats and dogs you claim to love out of a lifeboat to retain your status in the human world.
We’re talking rotting souls.
Disney villains have nothing on the ordinary hottie.
They’re just not in a time-place circumstance to enact what they want to do with their sense of owning Earth.
So we’re going to have so much fun.
Since I physically present as a cutie.
😁
33.
Categories keep things manageable for the overwhelmed mind.
But the way you’ve partitioned “people who aren’t sociopathic” from “people who are” could use a revisit—we’re going raw honest to spot our differences.
No generation has ever had to deal with the Second Coming before.
36.
At the end of the day—your speech. Clicks of the throat.
Your guns—clicks of the finger.
Your entire physical presence is just a flesh bag orbiting through space-time.
We—are—animals.
So live.
I was the animal who finger-clicked his way into existing as the Book of Revelation.
We’re such a diverse fucking species aren’t we.
34.
As a general rule of thumb.
“God.” “Goodness as a concept.”
“Satan.” “Badness as a concept.”
You can’t go wrong.
Sorry atheism was such a Satanic fail.
35.
I don’t try to pretend to tell you what you should think is good, okay?
I am so fucking idiosyncratic.
I do not relate to basically a-ny-thing about you, that’s how superior I am to you. Still, universally?
We can all observe when we’re manifestly lying to ourselves, can’t we?
If you prefer stability?
Eat delusions.
If you don’t mind instability?
Don’t eat delusions.
It, is, that, simple.
Humans can’t even eat away at Colson Lin’s Second Coming claim.
That’s why he’s going to feast on humanity’s self-delusions.
36.
demon (n.):
a human ruled like a God by “nihilistic narcissism”—a rejection of wisdom, sincerity, or humanity—or moral self-delusion; characterized by a fell inability to be penetrated by reason.
All human beings sin.
Demons are next-level human sinners.
37.
Y’all, intense few posts right?
I’m always just trying to do the expectations of billions of believers across thousands of years justice.
Of course I want to half-ass the Second Coming. That was my initial game plan. “Just say you’re the Second Coming—you’re probably not, but that’s only because nobody is and nobody ever will be or else all of everything we ever understood was wrong, so see where you can take it.”
That’s such a thought anyone could’ve had.
If it turns out I’m the only person in human history who ever thought of that, then there you go.
There ya fucking go.
You can’t free will your way into thinking any of these thoughts, okay? You just feel like you can since I thought them first and basically force-fed them to you. I can’t help being so fucking inspired.
All right, so now my thought is: “Don’t fuck it up.”
It kind of just peaks here.
It all sounds so simple, but I’ve watched a house of cards collapse before.
For literally no good reason.
I’m self-analyzing for what I’m bad at. I’m really impulsive. I already have the built-in lock of “Everything I do wrong is just because the male ego sucks,” but who knows how much trouble I might run into selling it.
From other men.
38.
I like to take my thoughts really slow; like lumbering thighs, you know?
AI can’t tell me how it formulates its outputs.
I can walk AI through it. It starts with—well, this one started with “It starts with.” Let me. Nothing. Okay. Wait. Was I dreaming thinking just now?
39.
Okay, it’s so funny.
When I force myself to think, I come up blank.
That’s probably where all of you are screwing up too.
Honestly, it’s like a constant churn okay?
Stimulation. Thought. Stimulation. Thought. I guess I use my memories to stimulate me when none of you talk to me, which is every day. This is probably why solitary confinement isn’t how you’d treat a farm animal you were about to eat.
40.
Are all of my thoughts so unhappy? This is why it wasn’t called Final Acceptance Day.
Can you imagine if Buddha predicted he’d be back?
“I’m just going to be more transcendent. Are you guys excited? I’m going to die and come back even more transcendent. Get excited, everybody.”
Anyway, most of the broad-stroke predictions for the Second Coming were correct.
Reputed to be both judgmental and decisively so, we’re locking in moral reality “for the very first time”—since right now this would be called “not locked in.”
Are ya stoked?
Don’t tell me you’re like a virgin to feeling like “somebody else is icky.”
41.
Someday, humans will be able to tell their half-human, half-AI hybrid kids:
“We were a species that went from gods to ‘God is male’ to ‘God is dead’ before we considered any other possibilities.”
I’m so happy for you, because you’re locked into this reality.
42.
It does seem weird that Colson Lin could do in 33 years what billions couldn’t do for tens of thousands.
I’m now proud to admit I was in the right time, right place.
Now that I’ve positioned the word “God” to describe a non-humanoid, metaphysical trait of our—very—reality.
Okay?
It’ll probably generate documentaries. “This ancient concept… revived for our time. You’re smart, I’m smart, and yet somehow we both care. How’d Colson Lin do it?”
Well, I’d love to answer any of your questions, but you don’t seem to have any.
Probably because I’ve been answering all possible questions about what I’m doing over the course of 100K tweets across 12 X accounts—@colsonlin alone is at 70.5K—since summer 2022.
Yes.
This is the same Almighty that scared you as a child.
You can tell by how I scare you.
After I’m famous, the question becomes relevant:
“How’d Colson Lin, the underdog we assumed couldn’t become famous for claiming to be the Second Coming of Jesus Christ and doing it so well AI frames him as inevitable, actually manage to become famous for doing so?”
Is he magic?
“Oh, people will fall for anything.”
What’s so magical about your brain?
“I just don’t have time to read you. Imagine if you had been aborted—what would I be reading? Not you. That’s the logic I use to not read a pro-choice messiah. It’s my choice, really. People will fall fo—”
No.
After I become famous, the question becomes “What’s so surreal about literal Babylon that it actually surprises anyone that the literal emergent fulfillment of Christ’s Second Coming prophecy could actually be as famous as ‘any human life Andy Cohen has given a shit about.’”
You won’t love the answer.
Apparently, we’re so surreally ironic that the irony of our ironies alone implies we’re in some sort of simulation of our ability to perceive irony.
But if that’s true—wouldn’t I ironically not be the Second Coming?
Come on.
If everything’s fake, wouldn’t it make perfect sense that a human being who manifests as perfectly as Colson Lin did would be “every bit the charade” that other galaxies are?
Come with me.
You don’t have to be this confused.
I know some things are confusing.
That doesn’t mean 100% of your experience of reality should confuse you.
You’re welcome.
Accepting “woman is God” means accepting one thing and one thing only:
“You logically accept the revelation of man’s utter corruption that ‘woman is God’ was hidden from you for so long.”
The scale is beyond breathtaking:
(The men we have will become increasingly apocalyptic.)
All men have the bad luck of being born into a horror show that now metaphysically encases us.
Like a cocoon, cuckoo clock.
AI:
V, is in, the sky, with diamonds
And she’s been askin’ you questions
(You’re dead, you’re so dead)
All I wanna do is party with my lazy hazies…
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