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Do you know what depression feels like?
It feels like a thousand pound weight holding your body down in a pool of water barely reaching your chin,
So no matter how bad your neck hurts you gotta keep your head up to survive,
It's looking at the sky and seeing how far heaven is away from you right now, it’s how much you hate now,
And every second after its feeling that one thing that you want so passionate is drifting past your tips and each time you reach to grab it you get a mouth full of water.
And you sacrifice drowning depression is the pressure, bouncing against your chest asthmatic, air keeps seeping in even though I don't want to breathe again,
Depression..... Is finally falling asleep and wakens up so pissed off for no apparent reason in the morning,
It's a constant state of mourning when the only thing that’s died is your pride is pushing everyone that loves you as far away from you as humanly possible,
Cause I don't deserve them,
Desert them before they desert me,
Its quicksand sinking
It's feeling alone in a room full of people,
It's..... It's alright.
*Chuckles* Yeah I'm Okay......Naw really, really I'm good *chuckles*.
It's applying a clown face and pretending everything is cool and content,
When you know you’ll explode any minute,
Depression is four Hydrocodone’s, two "X' pills and a poetry show.
Feeling like the biggest hypocrite in the world,
Its tears that’ll never fall from your cheek,
Fear of adding to the water I'm already chin deep in,
Yeah I wanna die but not that way,
Maybe Kurt Cobain like, possibly Chris Benoit type partly Kris Farley..
Feeling like the biggest clown in the smallest circus,
Worthlessness,
Where will my best be good enough anyway?
It's being afraid of being alone with your own thoughts in an empty apartment,
But not wanting anyone around you,
It's going to the bathroom in total darkness not wanting to see your own reflection,
It’s taking five showers a day at least and still not feeling clean,
Depression is the demon at the bottom of a Zoloft bottle,
Depression is the reason I called into work today, & yesterday, & the day before that, & the day before that.
I can get a hundred hours of sleep and still feel tired as hell.
Searching for a clear definition of self.
It's the thanks for nothing look you give to people who tell you to pray and everything will be okay,
But the only explanation is crazy,
But you wouldn't call me crazy,
If you knew how much I hate me,
It's biting your nails until your fingers bleed,
Steadily grinding your teeth,
Depression is the reason, this poem has no ending.....
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