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1 EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - DAY 1
Snowy suburbs of Toronto. From a nondescript house we hear:
KIM PINE
Scott Pilgrim is dating a high schooler?
2 INT. STEPHEN STILLS' KITCHEN - DAY 2
Four twenty-somethings lounge around a small kitchen table
STEPHEN STILLS, 25, shaggy hair, Canadian Cowboy chic
STEPHEN STILLS
Really? Is she hot?
KIM PINE, 22, cute, bitter, sweatshirt with a zipper
KIM PINE
How old are you now, Scott? Like
Twenty-eight?
SCOTT
I'm not playing your little games
KIM PINE
So you've been out of high school
For like, 13 years and-
SCOTT
I'm twenty-two. Twenty-two!
STEPHEN STILLS
And you're dating a high school
Girl? Not bad, not bad
YOUNG NEIL, 20, simple mind, layered T-shirts
YOUNG NEIL
Like, did you guys 'do it' yet?
SCOTT PILGRIM, 22, fresh faced and charmingly cocky with an
Unruly yet adorable mop of hair
SCOTT
We have done many things.
We ride the bus.
We have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went and about her friends, and, um...you know...drama
STEPHEN STILLS
Yeah, okay, have you even kissed her?
SCOTT
We almost held hands once, but then
She got embarrassed
KIM PINE
Well. Aren't you pleased as punch?
STEPHEN STILLS
So, what's her name?
SCOTT
(pleased as punch)
Knives Chau. She's Chinese
STEPHEN STILLS
(under his breath)
Chinese...
Young Neil pauses his Nintendo DS
YOUNG NEIL
Wicked! How'd you meet her?
SCOTT
I believe I mentioned the bus?
Scott Pilgrim prepares to tell an amazing story:
3 INT. THE BUS - NIGHT 3
KNIVES CHAU, 17, cute and innocent with clothes to match
Sits next to her mother, MOTHER CHAU, 45, demanding
MOTHER CHAU
You are seventeen year old! Time to
Get interested in boy!
KNIVES CHAU
Mom!
Knives DROPS her bag, books scattering everywhere
MOTHER CHAU
You drop book
Knives crouches down to pick up her books, grumbling
SCOTT (O.S.)
Hey...
Knives looks up to see the cute and gallant SCOTT PILGRIM
Holding her books. TEXT appears in an on-screen box:
"SCOTT PILGRIM, 22 YEARS OLD, RATING: AWESOME."
Stars appear in Knives's eyes. Scott grins heroically. Scott
Winks at Knives. Scott winks at the camera
4 INT. STEPHEN STILLS' KITCHEN - DAY 4
Back in the kitchen, everyone looks at Scott...
KIM PINE
Is that seriously the end of the story?
SCOTT
Yes. It is
Young Neil unpauses his Nintendo DS
STEPHEN STILLS
So when do we get to meet her?
KIM PINE
Oh please. Let it be soon
DINGY DONG! The doorbell rings. Scott smiles broadly
SCOTT
That's for me
5 INT/EXT. STEPHEN STILLS' HOUSE - DAY 5
An eager Knives stands outside. Scott opens the door a crack
SCOTT
You promise to be good?
KNIVES CHAU
Of course I'll be good!
SCOTT
No, really. Please be good
KNIVES CHAU
Am I normally not?
Stephen Stills comes to the door and peers through
SCOTT
Oh, hey. Knives, this is Stephen
Stills. He's the talent
STEPHEN STILLS
Hey
STILLS shuts the door on a confused Knives
STEPHEN STILLS
Is she gonna geek out on us?
SCOTT
She'll just sit in the corner, man
STEPHEN STILLS
I mean, I want her to geek out on us
B>SCOTT
She'll geek. She geeks. She has the
Capacity to geek
Stephen Stills quickly opens the door and waves Knives in
(CONTINUED)
STEPHEN STILLS
You're good
6 INT. STEPHEN STILLS' HOUSE - DAY 6
Knives enters, looking around the rehearsal pad with awe:
Bare bulb, ratty rug, drums, guitar, bass, LAME BRAND amps
KNIVES CHAU
Wow
SCOTT
Knives, that's Kim. Lemme get your coat
Scott throws Knives' coat on the floor. Knives waves
KNIVES CHAU
Hi, sorry, what was your name?
KIM PINE
Kim
KNIVES CHAU
You play the drums?
REVEAL Kim sitting behind the drumset, sticks in her hands
KIM PINE
...yes
KNIVES CHAU
That is so awesome
SCOTT
Knives, that's Young Neil
KNIVES CHAU
Hi. What do you play?
YOUNG NEIL
Uh, wow...Zelda...Tetris...that's
Kind of a big question
Knives stares blankly at Young Neil, who finally gets it
YOUNG NEIL
Oh. I'm not in the band. I just
Live here
Sex Bob-Omb has geared up. Amps hum to life
SCOTT
Let's start with Launchpad McQuack
STEPHEN STILLS
That's not the actual title of the-
KIM PINE
WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB! 1-2-3-4!
Kim BASHES the kit and Sex Bob-Omb EXPLODE INTO ROCK! GUITAR
AND BASS LEADS LEAP INTO THE AIR, SPELLING OUT OUR TITLE...
SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD
TITLES continue over the song as the small rehearsal space
Seems to GROW with the music. Stephen Stills barks
Unintelligable lyrics
Knives watches, jaw ajar. The song ends, feedback lingering
KNIVES CHAU
You guys...are so...amazing
7 EXT. BUS STOP - EVENING 7
Scott bids adieu to a stunned Knives as she gets on a bus
KNIVES CHAU
I can't even...Sex Bob-Omb
Amazing
8 INT. STEPHEN STILLS' ROOM - EVENING 8
The band and Young Neil lounge around Stephen Stills' room
STEPHEN STILLS
She seems nice
SCOTT
Yeaaah
YOUNG NEIL
She seems awesome
SCOTT
Yeaaah
KIM PINE
Scott, if your life had a face I
Would punch it
SCOTT
Yeaaah...wait, what?
KIM PINE
I mean, are you really happy or are
You really evil?
SCOTT
Like, do I have ulterior motives or
Something? I'm offended, Kim
STEPHEN STILLS
Wounded even?
SCOTT
Hurt, Kim
KIM PINE
You? Hurt?
Scott takes a breath, turns to Young Neil
SCOTT
Neil, you were saying she seems awesome
YOUNG NEIL
Yeah, she seems awesome
SCOTT
Yeaaaah...
9 INT. WALLACE'S APARTMENT - EVENING 9
Scott hangs his coat up in a tiny, one room apartment. He
Turns to WALLACE WELLS, dark hair, arched eyebrow, disloyal
"WALLACE WELLS, ROOMMATE, 24 YEARS OLD, FUN FACT: HE IS GAY!"
SCOTT
Before you hear some dirty lies
From someone else, yes, I'm dating
A 17 year old
Wallace looks up from the NOW magazine he's reading
WALLACE
Is he cute?
SCOTT
Ha, ha, ha, ha
WALLACE
Does this mean we have to stop
Sleeping together?
SCOTT
Do you see another bed in here?
TINY BOXES OF TEXT indicate the ownership of the items in the
One room flat: 95% belongs to Wallace, FUTON included
WALLACE
Yeah. You're totally my bitch forever
SCOTT
So. The whole seventeen year old
Thing. Don't tell too many people
WALLACE
Hey, you know me
SCOTT
I mean. Don't tell my sister
WALLACE
You know me
Wallace tosses the NOW magazine aside, starts texting
SCOTT
Who are you texting?
RINGY RING. The phone goes. Scott picks up
STACEY (O.S.)
Seventeen years old? Scandal!
Intercut with STACEY PILGRIM, cute, peppy barista, gabbing on
Her cellphone in THE SECOND CUP. A sign behind her reads 'œIf
You are using your cellphone, you will not be served'
"STACEY PILGRIM, YOUNGER SISTER, 19, RATING: 'T' FOR TEEN."
SCOTT
That's not true. Who told you?
STACEY
Wallace. Duh
SCOTT
That gossipy bitch
WALLACE (O.S.)
You know me
Scott turns to see Wallace on a second cordless
SCOTT
Wallace!
Wallace clicks off. Scott sinks into an armchair
STACEY
Who is this mysterious child you date?
SCOTT
Her name is Knives. Knives Chau
STACEY
A seventeen year old Chinese
Schoolgirl? You're ridiculous
SCOTT
It's a Catholic school too
STACEY
With the uniform and everything?
SCOTT
Yeah, the whole deal
STACEY
Oh my God, you haven't-
SCOTT
No no no. We haven't even held
Hands. I think she hugged me once
STACEY
Um, Scott. Why are you doing this?
SCOTT
I don't know...it's just nice, you
Know? It's just...simple
STACEY
It's been over a year since you got
Dumped by she-who-will-not-be-named
Scott glances down at the partially obscured NOW magazine
Looking into the HOT GIRL'S EYES on the back cover album ad
STACEY (CONT'D)
So, are you legitimately moving on
Or is this just you being insane?
Scott looks at a strip of photobooth pictures: he smiles next
To a hot redhead in happier times
SCOTT
Can I get back to you on that?
A SCHOOL BELL clangs loudly...
10 EXT. CATHOLIC SCHOOL - DAY 10
Wallace and Scott stand outside a CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL
Uniformed boys and girls pour out
WALLACE
I do not want to be here. At all
SCOTT
This school has boys too
WALLACE
I hate you. Even I would think twice
About dating a seventeen year old
SCOTT
Well, she's only allowed out when
The sun is up, so I wouldn't call
It dating, more like...
WALLACE
Playtime?
SCOTT
That doesn't sound so good either
KNIVES CHAU (O.S.)
Scott! Heyyyy!
Knives skips to Scott. Her shy friend TAMARA lingers behind
SCOTT
Hey Knives, this is my cool gay
Roommate, Wallace Wells. He's gay
KNIVES CHAU
Oh, hi! Do you want to know who in
My class is gay?
WALLACE
Yes. Does he wear glasses?
SCOTT
Wallace, you go now! Begone!
Wallace pulls Knives close. Whispers
WALLACE
You're too good for him. Run
11 INT. THE ARCADE - DAY 11
Scott and Knives play NINJA NINJA REVOLUTION (think a martial
Arts version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION)
They punch and kick in unison, side by side
SCOTT
Did you know the original name of Pac-
Man was Puck-man? You would think it's
Because Pac-Man looks like a yellow
Hockey puck, but actually it comes
From the Japanese phrase paku-paku
Which means to flap ones mouth open
And closed. They changed it over here
Because Puck-Man is too easy to
Vandalize. You know, scratch out the P
And turn it into an F or whatever?
Knives flips over Scott's back in a COMBO move
KNIVES CHAU
Ohmigod, like...wow
SCOTT
Yeah. Wow
The game ends. CONTINUE appears, counting down: 10...9...8...
Scott looks at Knives. She digs for quarters
KNIVES CHAU
Oh, I got it!
Scott and Knives leave a pizza joint, slices in hand
KNIVES CHAU
Tamara is into this Korean guy
Bobby, but everyone thinks Bobby
Has a crush on Mina
SCOTT
I thought Derek and Tamara had a
Mutual like-each-other thing going
What happened?
A13 INT. THE GOODWILL - DAY A13
Scott and Knives shop for T-shirts. Hangers click in time
KNIVES CHAU
I don't listen to much music. I
Know a lot of kids who play piano
Or whatever, but you guys ROCK
SCOTT
I knew I personally rocked, but I
Never suspected that we rocked as a
Unit. Thank you, Knives
13 INT. SONIC BOOM (RECORD STORE) - DAY 13
Scott and Knives flip through records in perfect sync
KNIVES CHAU
I mean, you guys are gonna be HUGE
SCOTT
Well, we're already pretty big. But
It might be cool if cool people
Wore our T-shirt
Knives speaks to a female clerk, surly with tats and specs:
"JULIE, 22, STILLS' GIRLFRIEND, RATING: WHAT IS HER PROBLEM?"
KNIVES CHAU
Excuse me, do you have anything by
'The Clash At Demonhead'?
JULIE
Have you tried the section marked
'The Clash At Demonhead'?
SCOTT
Thank you, Julie
JULIE
Are you coming to my party Friday
Or will you be busy babysitting?
SCOTT
Thank you, Julie
(TO KNIVES)
You don't want to listen to her
SCOTT (CONT'D)
And you definitely don't want to
Listen to them
Scott puts The Clash at Demonhead CD back in the rack
KNIVES CHAU
Oh, I heart them so much
SCOTT
I hearted them too until they signed
To a major label and the singer turned
Into a total bitch and ruined my life
But that's just me
KNIVES CHAU
(OBLIVIOUS)
Envy Adams is sooo cool. Do you
Read her blog?
SCOTT
Sorry, you were saying about me?
14 EXT. SNOWY TORONTO STREET - DAY 14
Scott and Knives amble down a snow covered sidewalk
KNIVES CHAU
I mean, I've...I've never gone out
With someone so talented
SCOTT
You go out with a lot of guys?
KNIVES CHAU
...no
SCOTT
Yeah, so whatever, man!
KNIVES CHAU
I've never even kissed a guy
Knives blushes and looks at the ground. Scott hugs her
SCOTT
Me neither
15 EXT. WALLACE'S APARTMENT - DAY 15
Scott and Knives walk up to the front of Wallace's apartment
KNIVES CHAU
So this is your secret lair? Can I
Come in?
SCOTT
My secret lair is one of those 'no
Girls allowed' deals
KNIVES CHAU
Oh, okay
SCOTT
But do you want to see the house
Where I grew up?
KNIVES CHAU
Sure
They literally walk across the street to a small house
SCOTT
Here you go
KNIVES CHAU
Wow
SCOTT
Yeah. Wow
Wind blows. The light snowfall turns into sand...
16 EXT. THE DREAM DESERT - HOTTEST DAY 16
...Scott wanders alone through a barren land. He falls to his
Knees next to a lonely cactus
SCOTT
Oh God...so...so alone
A MYSTERIOUS GIRL rollerblades across the shifting sands. She
Wears fishnets, an army jacket, skirt and goggles. Her pink
Hair is funky but cool. She is hotter than the desert sun
MYSTERIOUS GIRL [Ramona]
You're not alone. You're just
Having some idiotic dream
SCOTT
Does that mean we can make out?
But she's gone...
17 INT. WALLACE'S APARTMENT - ? 17
...SCOTT WAKES UP, sitting up in the FUTON
SCOTT
Oh God...
Wallace wakes up to the left of Scott, rubbing his eyes
WALLACE
What is it, Scott?
SCOTT
I had this totally weird dream
OTHER VOICE
Oh God
WALLACE
What is it, Scott?
A scruffy, goateed guy wakes right between Scott and Wallace:
"OTHER SCOTT, 22, WALLACE'S BOYFRIEND? FUN FACT: GUY CURIOUS"
OTHER SCOTT
Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me
Not interested
SCOTT
But there was this girl...
WALLACE
Girl?
OTHER SCOTT
Was this an Envy related dream?
WALLACE
We don't use the E-word in this house
SCOTT
No, it wasn't her. It was somebody new...
OTHER SCOTT
Yay for that
Other Scott goes back to sleep. Wallace rubs his eyes
WALLACE
Speaking of new, weren't you
Supposed to take your fake high
School girlfriend to the library a
Half-hour ago?
SCOTT
What? It's like, six in the morning
Scott opens the bathroom door. Sunlight ignites the room
SCOTT (CONT'D)
Arrrrgh!
KNIVES CHAU
What's wrong?
Scott is noticeably taller than all the teens in the library
He carries a stack of books for Knives
SCOTT
Libraries remind me of grade school
KNIVES CHAU
That must seem like a reeeeally
Long time ago
SCOTT
Uh. Let's talk about something else
The hiss of ball bearings catches Scott's attention. He
Freezes as he sees THE ROLLERBLADING GIRL FROM HIS DREAM
Skating towards the desk in SEXALICIOUS SLOW MOTION
KNIVES CHAU
Do you know that girl?
The Rollerblading Girl delivers a package from AMAZON.CA to
The librarian. Scott's gaze follows the GIRL as she blades
Out of the library. Pensive guitar underscores his thoughts
KNIVES CHAU
Scott?
Scott continues to stare at the girl. Time slows to a crawl
STEPHEN STILLS (O.S.)
SCOTT!
19 INT. STEPHEN STILLS' HOUSE - EVENING 19
Scott stands in the rehearsal room, head still in the clouds
STEPHEN STILLS
You only played one note for that
Entire song
SCOTT
It was...uh...my hand slipped
KIM PINE
Is your girlfriend distracting you?
SCOTT
My girlfriend?
A meek Knives sits next to Young Neil on the couch
KNIVES CHAU
I'll... I'll be quieter
STEPHEN STILLS
Let's do that one again
SCOTT
Sorry, what are we doing?
20 EXT. TORONTO RESIDENTIAL STREET - NIGHT 20
STEPHEN STILLS
I told you like fifty times!
Scott, Kim Pine, Stephen Stills and Young Neil walk down an
Icy Toronto street. Scott's head is still in the clouds
KIM PINE
We're going to this party, retard
SCOTT
Party?
YOUNG NEIL
At Julie's
SCOTT
Ugh. I thought you guys split
STEPHEN STILLS
We did. But, you know, there may be
Some label guys there, so...
SCOTT
Aw, man. This is going to suck
KIM PINE
At least it will give us something
To complain about
SCOTT
Awww maaan...
21 INT. JULIE'S HOUSE - NIGHT 21
A bored Scott stands next to Young Neil in a very crowded
House party. Both have red plastic cups in hand
SCOTT
...this sucks
YOUNG NEIL
Sucks
SCOTT
I'm going to go pee due to boredom
Scott exits frame
YOUNG NEIL
I have to pee
Neil sips his drink
Scott passes by COMEAU, a bespectacled hipster geek:
'˜COMEAU, 25, FUN FACT: KNOWS EVERYONE (INCLUDING YOU)'
SCOTT
Hey Comeau
COMEAU
Hey Scott. Some party huh? You
Gettin' your drink on?
INTEGRATED FINAL 16
21 CONTINUED: (2) 21
SCOTT
This is Coke Zero. I don't drink
COMEAU
You don't drink? I remember you
Getting ridiculously drunk off two
G&T's one time and-
SCOTT
(QUICKLY)
Comeau, you know everyone, right?
COMEAU
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