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Cover art for Cher: The Unauthorized Rusical

Song

Cher: The Unauthorized Rusical

RuPaul

Cher: The Unauthorized Rusical (feat. The Cast of RuPaul's Drag Race, Season 10), 2018, English

Lyrics

Pick up to six lines to make a card.

3 a.m., Malibu
Can't sleep, bed emoji
Kathy Griffin just left, that bitch got me all wired up
Sticking out tongue and winking emoji
50 years in the biz
Can't stop thinking about when it all began
Thought bubble emoji
Born in Cali' and mama named me Cherilyn
I was insecure, but there was a fire within
Skipped school early and went to Hollywood
Tried to meet every big wig that I could (ooh)
When I met Sonny he was 27 (ooh)
I was younger by a few years (ooh)
Okay, eleven
Short little guy but he stole my heart (ooh)
Soon we were on top of the charts (ooh)
(Sang songs) we were riding the hits (ah-ha)
It was all glamour and glitz
(Sang songs) We were two shooting stars (ah-ha)
And we had each other babe
Sonny believed in me more than I believed in myself
And bitch, we were just getting started
"From television city in Hollywood"
"It's the Sonny and Cher Show!"
(Yes, she's on TV, aah-ah-aah)
Me and Sonny were the hottest show in town and they loved us!
(Yes, she's on TV, ooh)
And every Monday night, the fans stuck around
To see my Mackie gowns
My Daddy's people were Armenian
And I would dress up like an Indian
I wore a headdress, be a gypsy queen
A fortune-telling witch from New Orleans (yeah)
(Cultural appropriation!) That's one we never heard
(Cultural appropriation!) That wasn't even a word
(Cultural appropriation!) C'mon, it was another time (hey-y-y)
We just called it fashion bitch, we evolved with the times
This TV queen, she hit the scene
Divorcing Sonny, and getting good rocker beat
(Good, good, good rocker beat)
And now I'm with Geffen when he was young
I even let Gene Simmons slip me the tongue
(Single lady danced all night)
And burned the candle at both ends
(The way of love, is a twisted trip)
But I'd do it again
(No regrets dammit!)
TV's gone
Moving on
There's just one thing that's left for me to do (disco Cher)
Ride the trend, to the end
Throw on disco duds and boogie shoes (disco Cher)
Make some hits, flash my tits!
God, I gotta stop wearing all this cheap crap (disco Cher)
Ride this wave (ride this wave)
To my grave (to my grave)
This disco craze will last forever
(Ha, ha, ha)
Gotta do whatever it takes
Even wear (roller skates)
This era was a bumpy section
Seems like I might need a new direction
"I didn't know what to do next"
"So I called Sonny on the set of Fantasy Island"
"He told me to believe in myself, go into acting and snap out of it!"
Cue the track
Your career hits the skids, and you're, busy with kids
(Snap out of it!)
When Altman, offers you a scene
In 'Come back Jimmy Dean'
(Snap out of it!) Finally!
More roles come if you ask
Like the break in Mormon Mass
(Snap out of it!) (oh, oh)
Just snap out of it! (snap out of it)
You know what I'm gonna do?
Play a witch in Eastwick, I don't need a damn broomstick
(Snap out of it!) Snap, I screwed up all those words
Then get struck by the moon
Slap Nic Cage, make him swoon
Snap out of it bitches!
I won an Oscar dammit!
Okay, now what?
Got tired of starring in the same old movie
So I stripped with sailors on the MTV (MTV!)
They wouldn't stop with the tabloid headlines
No one had ever seen an ass like mine (ass like mine)
But I was only getting started (ooh-ooh)
In new adventures (yet uncharted) (ooh-ooh)
I got in amazing shape and sold a fitness tape
(Don't turn your back on Cher)
'Cause I'm somewhere up there (Don't turn your back baby)
Ho!
Til' my bank balance, is longer than my hair (don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't)
(Don't do it)
Don't turn your back on Cher
(Don't turn your back on Cher)
Got tattoos everywhere
(Got tattoos everywhere)
And thanks to my hustle
I'm a billionaire, ho! (Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't)
"In breaking news, Sonny Bono has passed away unexpectedly"
With Sonny gone
I didn't have anyone around to believe in me
So I needed to believe in myself, ho!
How am I supposed to cope?
(She can't cope)
I Cher am gonna miss that dope
(Bye-bye, Sonny)
But since he's not around
I need a brand-new sound!
Vocoder, something I can believe
The answer is technology
Vocoder, a new trick up my sleeve
Turn into a robot from outer space!
And I know the gays will buy this
And I know Britney will try this
Now my legacy's secure
Time to do another Cher-well Tour
(I invented reinvention, bitches)
When our world is destroyed and the end of time approaches (ooh)
Two things will be left (ooh)
Cher and cockroaches!
(Cher and roaches, cockroaches and Cher)
When all else is gone, we'll still be there
(Cher and roaches, cockroaches and Cher)
Get used to us, we ain't going nowhere
Wagon Wheel Watusi!
("Ho, where is he at? Call my Uber, you're on my way, we're all here")
Go talk to my agent!

Samples, covers and versions

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